Song Selection: “Treat Her Like A Lady” By. The Temptations
I sometimes ramble on Facebook (as we all do)! I bring up random topics in need of opinions from my Facebook friends! Lately, writers block has tortured me, so I forced a short writing break upon myself. However, a friend came to me with an issue and I’d like to share the subject within this Blog…
MY FACEBOOK RANT:
“Do men still believe in taking a woman out on a REAL date? What happened to chivalry? Has “courting” gone away with the times??
@ Jennifer Joi Wells SAYS- “Eby I know I’m late but chivalry isnt dead, it’s on life support but not dead. We can’t really blame the men (these days) for not doing such because they didnt have a mole at home (for the most part) to shoe them how to treat a woman! My brothers take their girlfriends out, buy them flowers etc because my grandfather and father do it still and always have… It’s just like when men go to look for a woman and the how trick him with minute rice & microwave veggies and he think she can cook then he get all in love and she be like oh I was just faking… Gotta think about alot of people don’t present their authentic. Self when they first meet someone, so if woman arent doing what they were doing in the beginning, how can we expect men to do the same?!? (not me and you though boo lol)”
@ Shaniq Blount SAYS- “I think is sort of human nature…just like getting a new car or cell phone..you are so excited but once you get this new item your likeness or excitment declines…not becuase you like it any less but because we have a tendency to take this for granted! So I would suggest…staying on top of ur game…because similar to the car…we tend to remeba how excited we were when the next “compliments” the new car…cell phone etc….”
One of my friends is dating a guy who – according to her – is a little lacking in the chivalry department. We have even jokingly referred to him as “C.L”. a.k.a chivalry-lite. Although we make light of it, I suppose it could actually be a real red flag.
She believes that his lack of chivalry is because of his upbringing: Not raised in the south, not raised with a father in the home. She says she noticed that it started out small like not opening doors, not bothering to see if she got home safely, and now he shows no signs of true gentleman behavior – at all.
I am surprised she has been so patient with him because she is a stickler for this kind of thing. It just makes me wonder how women like to say we want and desire certain traits in a man, but how often do we drop the guys that don’t have them?
I don’t know how attracted I could be to someone with zero, zilch, nada to offer in the chivalry category. I mean, it’s one of those things that can make a woman feel special, so why wouldn’t your man make the effort to do so?
Do you think that a woman should dump a guy whose chivalrous behavior is MIA?
Guys do you think being a gentleman in dating is still expected? Do you and your friends believe in chivalry? Was it a part of what you were taught about being a man?
How important…or unimportant is chivalry today? Do you think chivalry is MIA on the dating scene?
Chivalry should always be expected, just as it should be expected that the lady will act like a lady. Many times, how a person is treated is a direct correlation as to how one is acting and it goes both ways. If he open the door, pull the seat out, walk on the sidewalk in between you and the road, and is always considerate, and always mannerly, he’s a Keeper.
However, if the guy acts like a lout, tries to put the spotlight on himself instead of you or acts like some “Hood Nigga”, he deserves everything that he has coming to him. If the lady acts all premadonna. expects to be worshipped, complains, whines and thinks she is above him, she deserves what she gets. It’s a double edged sword and the blade is sharp on both sides.
Chivalry is a learned behavior, and should be taught early and reinforced often. A father can model this, but it is also a mother’s responsibility to teach her son how to treat a woman.
THE EDUCATED SIDE OF ME SAYS…
Gentlemen live in a world of ladies. If you are not in that world, which includes class and a good upbringing, then you won’t get it. Like all American social classes, they can go up and down, and are not closely associated with wealth or position, i.e., the “gentile poor”.
However, I do agree that women’s lib has killed much of the format for class behavior. Women are equal, and don’t need men to open doors, and some women are offended when men do this for them. It only takes a few outbursts of reaction by social peers to undermine years of motherly teaching in politeness and courtesy.
Regretfully, with equality came an undermining of the social norms and behavior that guided inter-personal relationships for years before. Don’t be nostalgic for those times, or those manners.
In time, new manners will emerge. But I do agree that they are symbols of class. If your potential mate doesn’t show them, and you need them, then you are not of the same class. Look further.
….That’s my spill.. Tell me how YOU feel?!